I’m nine years into being a mother with a special needs child. One of my kids has dyslexia and is slowly outgrowing it but a child with Autism hits different.
I didn’t realize the struggles he would face as he grows up, how cruel and mean kids are already in 4th grade, and I can’t imagine what is storming around in his brain to explode into such outrageous outbursts!
It’s hard, so very hard. When you don’t have a team of the support around you, while you are trying to understand Autism it’s even tougher. As a single mom, if it wasn’t for God, And the Autism and Us parent support community I would feel completely alone and totally lost. Navigating this life can be difficult but worth fighting for and being an advocate for your kids is worth the work.
Recently my son has been very disruptive in class. There are things that I’ve observed and learned about my son and there are also things I have observed and learned about the school system as well.
My son will act like a blazing wildfire when he is overwhelmed, overstimulated and doesn’t feel safe. The school is far too busy to manage his behavior at times and will be quick to label him before realizing that he really is a sweetheart, he is loving and giving.
He wants friends just like a neuro- typical child. He wants to feel accepted and appreciated just like anyone else. He is normal, “his normal” and we have to get away from calling them different and be more inclusive. Just because my normal isn’t looking like yours doesn’t mean I am different.
Trust The Process…
If you feel like your child is struggling in an area, you can request to have an IEP meeting to discuss your issues.
Be prepared if it’s your first time. There is a lot of paperwork that goes into it. Answer those questions honestly and don’t be intimidated by them (remember this is for your child’s wellbeing!)
They will have the teachers do a report on what they’ve observed with the student in class, there will be a home report that you will complete about what you observe at home, then they will have a diagnosticians observe and take notes of your child at school.
Once the meeting is scheduled, they will go over their observations with you and then you can request for immediate testing to be done. Do it, this will expedite your process. The faster you get answers, the quicker you can get the ball rolling to have a support team surround your child and help you along the way.
Utilize The Resources
The school system has a case manager, diagnostician, speech therapy, occupational therapy, counseling, etc. I call them Josiah’s success team. They will provide you with the tools that you and your child need to succeed at school. It takes a village, if you don’t agree with what comes out of your meeting, this is the time to voice your feelings and opinion, at the end of the day, you are your child’s most important advocate. So speak up during these meeting.
Setting Goals
When you have these meetings you will review how your child scores on academic tests such as STARR and Map testing. Don’t be discouraged these are how you see where more progress needs to be worked on. They will go over behavior goals if this is an issue, they will also come up with ways to reward your child, etc.
If there is a goal that you aren’t pleased or feel it might not be attainable for your child, speak up. For example; your child gets 30 minutes of inclusion support once a week. This means 15 minutes twice a week your child will have someone sit with him or her in class to help for 15 mins. If you feel like your child needs more or less time, if it can be done, you can request the goal be changed to 45 minutes a week for 3 days.
My son is in a GenEd setting. What this means is, he goes to class with the other students the inclusion teacher will join your child to help finish up any class work your child may need help with as well as be a support to help them be calm in class.
SPED is the special education class. It is a smaller setting for students. you might notice on your child’s goals times where they may go to that class for additional support and that’s ok.
If you feel as though the GenEd setting is too much for your student, stand up for them, request and emergency IEP meeting and take the steps to get them into a smaller setting. This may take time. I am about to take on this process for my son because he is not doing well in this setting but he does love being around the other kids.
Homeschooling Parents
You can contact the local school for services. Some school districts all it. If you have a child that might need speech or Occupation Therapy reach out to the school. They will create an IEP for your student. Depending on the circumstances some school can offer support virtually or you may have to take your child to the school for sessions. Be open to whatever and however they offer support.
IEP or Not Keep Your Eyes and Heart OPEN…
Just because you have an IEP don’t let that stop you from being involved. My son has one, yet he is still struggling and there are days that I feel helpless when I get those calls. Don’t let them label your child! Ask them what’s positive, see if there is anything that seems to be working and try your best to encourage that.
My boy has been in detention several times, he has had to eat lunch alone, miss recess etc. these situations make him feel like he is bad. Provide affirmations and encourage your child. Talk to the school, punishing my son doesn’t fix the issue. Try to find a way to help. You have the right to go and observe your child yourself. Make sure you completed the proper background screen. If the school acts sketchy about your pop up visits, take note. There is nothing right about that.
Even though this is difficult try to strive to be peaceful. If you are angry or emotional it’s not good for yourself or your child. Research ideas and try to utilize them. Parenting a child with special needs is not for the faint at heart, but there is a community backing you all the way. It takes a village! If you ever need support or have questions I am a listening ear.
KEEP FIGHTING FAIRLY FOR YOUR BABIES.
Happily Ever Amber 